Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.

No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.

I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!

To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.

Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.

Baby carrots are making me gay.

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.