Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.

I'm getting angry at liberals.

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!

Equations are the devil's sentences.

I'm obviously younger, much better looking [then Jeorge W.Bush].He didn't veto things, he didn't bring order and fiscal restraint.

I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part of the show that can most surprise me. The written part of the show, I know I can get wrong. You can't really get the interview "wrong."

I have no interest in behaving or thinking cynically. But it's an easy trap to be cynical about anything, certainly when you're talking about politics or the media.