Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.

I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.

Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.

There hasn't been a scandal this big at the C.I.A. since (CLASSIFIED) committed (CENSORED) to (REDACTED).

The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.