Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.

I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.

Hatemongers like Media Matters take innocent statements like mine, Rush Limbaugh's, John Gibson's, and Bill O'Reilly's and make them offensive by posting them on the Internet, allowing the general public to hear words that were meant for people who already agree with us. Hey, Media Matters, you want to end offensive speech? Then stop recording it for people who would be offended.

Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.

You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.

(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock

I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.