We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.

The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear

I don't get why the government is the only one that gets to print money.

Mentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.

Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.