We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.

Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.

I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.

Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.

If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?

I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.