We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.

Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner.

You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.