We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.

I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.

If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'

After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.

Don’t get me wrong. Being a mom is no picnic. Raising the kids is the mother’s responsibility. It’s a thankless, solitary job, like sheriff or Pope.

Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.