After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

You don't need the right facts if you have the right inflection.

Gravitas is the soup bone in the stew of television news.

Who would have thought that a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstanding?

There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.

Don’t get me wrong. Being a mom is no picnic. Raising the kids is the mother’s responsibility. It’s a thankless, solitary job, like sheriff or Pope.