After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.

Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.

Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!

Any religion whose messiah’s name isn’t recognized by Microsoft Word can’t be that much of a threat.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.

We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.

Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.