You have to do your First Penance before your First Holy Communion. You're really young. What do you know? You've got nothing to confess. All I knew was that I was an evil human whose sins caused the death of our Lord.

You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.

I'll make fun of anybody. We're all about falling down and going boom on camera.

I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.

If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.

'Sympathy for the Devil' is just another way of saying 'Compassionate Conservative'.