Speak from the balls, not from the diaphram.

When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.

Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'

It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.

I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.