Speak from the balls, not from the diaphram.

It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.

Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.

If you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government's been hiding.

When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.

They think I'm silly. I do silly things. I fall down and run into things. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll hold a pickup stick to my ear and say, "What? What's that? I can't hear you

I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.