They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.
Stephen ColbertRemember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics.
Stephen ColbertCan't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.
Stephen ColbertWe [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ยญcrafted, controlled environment.
Stephen Colbert