They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.

As a rule, Germans shouldn't do comedy. Their last box office comedy was Nosferatu.

Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.

Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.

I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that.

I'm impervious to logic.

It's official. Highway patrolmen are not susceptible to the Jedi Mind Trick.