Christianity is the best way to cure gayness — just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.

Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.

There is a residual sense for me, having grown up in the early '70s, that I did not know I had, which was a sense that the military are different than I. Because there was such a divide between the military world - and there still is, because there's no draft - and the civilian world is one of the rotten harvests of the Vietnam War, was this sort of bifurcation of America in that way.

Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'

I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.

In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.