A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
Stephen ColbertMentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.
Stephen ColbertNew study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
Stephen ColbertCan accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.
Stephen Colbert