I don't know a lot about politics. I like talking about human behavior. Politicians are funny to me because they often say one thing and behave a different way.

Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.

Citizens United said that transparency would be the disinfectant, but (c)(4)'s are warm, wet, moist incubators. There is no disinfectant.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.

We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.