Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.

I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.

Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.

Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.

Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.

When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.

Nothing is more vintage than dying of Rubella.