I'm fascinated that people drawn to cults want to know what to do. And people want to know what to think. And people want to know how to feel. Not just what to feel but how to feel.

I'm impervious to logic.

Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.

It's time for me to give out an award to newly elected Majority Leader John Boehner. Mr. Boehner was elected just a few days ago to reform House Republicans, who are feeling the heat from lobbyist scandals. Well, CNN found out that he rents his two-bedroom apartment from a lobbyist who had clients who had interests in legislation that Boehner sponsored. And for that, Mr. Boehner, you've just won a pair of Stephen Colbert's big brass balls.

Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.

In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.

I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.