I'm fascinated that people drawn to cults want to know what to do. And people want to know what to think. And people want to know how to feel. Not just what to feel but how to feel.

Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.

Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

Cynics always say no. Saying yes leads to knowledge. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.

It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.

I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.