I'm fascinated that people drawn to cults want to know what to do. And people want to know what to think. And people want to know how to feel. Not just what to feel but how to feel.

I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.

We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.

Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.

What's the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns?

I love the truth. It's the facts I'm not a fan of.