I'm proud of my ability to understand what somebody else is trying to do and help them achieve it, because part of the aesthetic of improvisation is service. You never say no. Serve the servant, follow the follower. And that's very valuable in your life, as well as very valuable in your actor's work. I'm damn proud of my ability to help other people achieve their ideas.

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.

The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.

When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.

If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking.

Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable. Like remind Obama he was once a professor of Constitutional Law.

A native American group has filed a class-action lawsuit against the government for mismanagement of oil, gas, grazing, timber and other royalties since 1887. They're seeking $100 billion. Here's the good news: The government has responded what I believe is an appropriate counteroffer: A two-cent Navajo stamp.