I scream, you scream, we all scream... for the truth.

Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?

As a rule, Germans shouldn't do comedy. Their last box office comedy was Nosferatu.

Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.

In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say "congratulations.

Speak from the balls, not from the diaphram.

I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?