I scream, you scream, we all scream... for the truth.

Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

One day,I might be able to tell my grandkids I interviewed the last president of the United States.

We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.

I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable "on notice"? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?

You don't want to just do a joke because it works - we can make a lot of jokes work - you want to do a joke because it will hopefully build into an argument.

I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.