Throughout human history, countries rise and fall. But not America-we continue to rise and rise, like dough, until Jesus bakes us in the fiery Afterscape of the Rapture.

Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.

People would say, "Oh, you say you just do jokes." I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.

I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory

It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.

(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.