I hadn't intended to end up there. I meant to be a serious actor with a beard who wore a lot of black and wanted to share his misery with you.
Stephen ColbertRepublicans will need to work hard to capture the Latino vote instead of their current strategy of capturing Latinos.
Stephen ColbertI've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?
Stephen ColbertOf course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
Stephen ColbertWe are divided between those who think with their heads and those who know with their heart. Consider Harriet Miers. If you think about Harriet Miers, of course her nomination is absurd. But the President didn't say he thought about his selection. He said this: "I know her heart." Notice how he said nothing about her brain? He didn't have to. He feels the truth about Harriet Miers.
Stephen Colbert