If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?

Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.

New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.

I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.

Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.

Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.

You seem cynical because you're always talking about that selfish behavior that's dressed up as altruism. It doesn't mean there isn't altruism. It just means that it's harder to make jokes about altruism.