Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor.

Any religion whose messiah’s name isn’t recognized by Microsoft Word can’t be that much of a threat.

Who would have thought that a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstanding?

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.

The cost of living keeps going up, although death is surprisingly affordable.

Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?

Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.