Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies
Stephen ColbertAny religion whose messiahโs name isnโt recognized by Microsoft Word canโt be that much of a threat.
Stephen ColbertWe have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.
Stephen ColbertWe all know why [the generals] are so critical of the defense secretary. They're being defensive because they weren't able to implement his brilliant plan [on screen: Operation 'Greet Us As Liberators']. It was so simple: Go in with 100,000 troops, topple the regime, everybody loves us, and we leave by Easter 2003. These ex-military men have their right to their opinions, that's fine. They just shouldn't voice them during a war [on screen: 'Loose Lips Sink Approval Ratings']
Stephen Colbert