When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.

After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.

Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.

My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.

You don't need the right facts if you have the right inflection.

Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?

Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.