Any religion whose messiah’s name isn’t recognized by Microsoft Word can’t be that much of a threat.

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'

Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.

The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.

Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.