Any religion whose messiah’s name isn’t recognized by Microsoft Word can’t be that much of a threat.

The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear

North Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'

NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.

The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.

I used to play a narcissistic-conservative pundit. Now, I'm just a narcissist.

You seem cynical because you're always talking about that selfish behavior that's dressed up as altruism. It doesn't mean there isn't altruism. It just means that it's harder to make jokes about altruism.