I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.
Stephen ColbertOh sure, its fine when a monkey does it. But when I throw barrels at an Italian plumber, they call it a hate crime!
Stephen ColbertIf Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
Stephen ColbertI wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.
Stephen ColbertAnd my daughter said, 'Why are you yelling at us?' and I said, 'I'm trying to discipline you!' And then she looked up at me with her tear-stained eyes and said, 'This is how you teach children, by making them cry.' And it was such a clenching reminder - she won not only the argument, but she won life with that statement. I just burst out laughing, and I think they were so surprised that I burst out laughing, that they did too.
Stephen Colbert