Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.

Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.

A lot of people have said, "Oh, I, boy, I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away."

Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.