Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.

Foreign newspapers: if they've got nothing to hide, how come they don't print them in English?

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.

It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.

Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.

Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.

Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable. Like remind Obama he was once a professor of Constitutional Law.