Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.

If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.

I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.

If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!

Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.

You can't swallow and think about your tongue. If you think about your tongue, you've got a giant piece of meat in your mouth and that's a terrible feeling.

I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.