There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.

Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?

Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.

Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.

It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.

I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.