Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.

I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know - these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.

Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.

Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?

After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.