Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.

It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.

There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.

I gotta tell you, I do not envy whoever they try to put in David Letterman's chair. Folks those are some huge shoes to fill, and some really big pants.

A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?