You may learn sooner than most generations the hard lesson that you must always make the path for yourself...There is no secret society out there that will tap you on your shoulder one night and show you the way.

News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.

We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at us.

Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.

Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.

I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.

I'd forgotten what an honest sandwich it is. For those of you not familiar, 'BLT' stands for 'bacon, lettuce, and tomato.' A lot of people think the 'B' stands for 'bread,' and I can understand someone not wanting a lettuce and tomato sandwich. But, the bread is implied in the word 'sandwich.' Anyway, it's an American original. Everyone should have a BLT as soon as they can.