Some people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who can slip under your guard with a knife. But if you watch what I do, that's almost never the case. I'm just trying to keep the balloon in the air. It rarely turns into anything combative.

Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.

Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.

If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?

If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?

You can change the world. Please don't do that, OK? Some of us like the way things are going now.

Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform.