You seem cynical because you're always talking about that selfish behavior that's dressed up as altruism. It doesn't mean there isn't altruism. It just means that it's harder to make jokes about altruism.

...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.

Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.

I'm proud of my ability to understand what somebody else is trying to do and help them achieve it, because part of the aesthetic of improvisation is service. You never say no. Serve the servant, follow the follower. And that's very valuable in your life, as well as very valuable in your actor's work. I'm damn proud of my ability to help other people achieve their ideas.

Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.