I love the earth. If you ask me it's the greatest planet in the world.

You seem cynical because you're always talking about that selfish behavior that's dressed up as altruism. It doesn't mean there isn't altruism. It just means that it's harder to make jokes about altruism.

NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.

Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.

Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.

I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change; my opinion never does.

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.