Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

Warning, I may contain more than a trace amount of nut.

New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.