Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.

I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.

I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.

I owe a lot to my teachers and mean to pay them back some day.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.