We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.

I owe a lot to my teachers and mean to pay them back some day.

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.

Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men; too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.

If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some text books.

I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.