I owe a lot to my teachers and mean to pay them back some day.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

In earlier times they had no statistics and so they had to fall back on lies. Hence the huge exaggerations of primitive literature, giants, miracles, wonders! It's the size that counts. They did it with lies and we do it with statistics: but it's all the same.

Most people tire of a lecture in ten minutes; clever people can do it in five. Sensible people never go to lectures at all. But the people who do go to a lecture and who get tired of it, presently hold it as a sort of grudge against the lecturer personally. In reality his sufferings are worse than theirs.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

I owe a lot to my teachers and mean to pay them back some day.

I am what is called a professor emeritus—from the Latin e, 'out,' and meritus, 'so he ought to be.