I owe a lot to my teachers and mean to pay them back some day.

In point of morals, the average woman is, even for business, too crooked.

There is no doubt that many things in life come to us...at backrounds so to speak. Happiness is one of them.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.

Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything