I am what is called a professor emeritus—from the Latin e, 'out,' and meritus, 'so he ought to be.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

To write well it is first necessary to have something to say.

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That's retirement.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.