American politicians do anything for money... English politicians take the money and won't do anything.
Stephen LeacockMen are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
Stephen LeacockNewspapermen learn to call a murderer "an alleged murderer" and the King of England "the alleged King of England" in order to avoid libel suits.
Stephen LeacockThere is no doubt that many things in life come to us...at backrounds so to speak. Happiness is one of them.
Stephen LeacockThe student of arithmetic who has mastered the first four rules of his art, and successfully striven with money sums and fractions, finds himself confronted by an unbroken expanse of questions known as problems.
Stephen LeacockThe writing of solid, instructive stuff fortified by facts and figures is easy enough. There is no trouble in writing a scientific treatise on the folk-lore of Central China, or a statistical enquiry into the declining population of Prince Edward Island. But to write something out of one's own mind, worth reading for its own sake, is an arduous contrivance only to be achieved in fortunate moments, few and far in between. Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
Stephen Leacock