The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some text books.

The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.