The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.

It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

The English are terribly lazy about fighting. They like to get it over and done with and then set up a game of cricket.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born