It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.

Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.

It was Einstein who made the real trouble. He announced in 1905 that there was no such thing as absolute rest. After that there never was.