In point of morals, the average woman is, even for business, too crooked.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.

The student of arithmetic who has mastered the first four rules of his art, and successfully striven with money sums and fractions, finds himself confronted by an unbroken expanse of questions known as problems.

About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.