Most people can tire of a lecture in fifteen minutes, clever people can do it in five, and sensible people don't go to lectures at all.

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Chess is one long regret.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

American politicians do anything for money... English politicians take the money and won't do anything.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.