Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.