I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.

I didn't worry if a bit got no response, as long as I believed it had enough response to linger.

I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair.

I'm not a human being. I'm despicable and disgusting - but that's where the money is.

It's like painting the same blank canvas over and over and over and over and over. Once the concept is known, you don't need to see two. And that was in the back of my head, that I was really done artistically with what I had created or pastiched.

I think when the movie `Roxanne' came out, which I also had written, I felt something new that I never felt, which was respect.

If you feel tired midway through, give Neil Patrick Harris a Red Bull and throw some sheet music at him.