Being on Twitter is like having a fern.

I'm the leader of the platoon and I run gambling and lotteries, dances and I sell beer illegally. I'm a con man and I'm thoroughly lovable.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.

It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it - The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.

If he thinks he would harm Mirabelle, he would back away. But he does not yet understand when and how people are hurt. He doesn't understand the subtleties of slights and pains, that it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me, your emotions follow your intent. If you create the intention of starting a comedy act, slowly your mind starts adjusting and you arrive at a new emotional state.