It's not the size of the nose that matters, it's what's inside that counts.

I ignored my stand-up career for twenty-five years, but now, having finished this memoir, I view this time with surprising warmth. One can have, it turns out, an affection for the war years.

I always think back to my high school days and realize all the people who were so popular then are nowhere now and all the people who were steadfast and steady-going are somewhere. So high school doesn't necessarily translate to later in life.

I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.

When you're touring and if you go to a party, there's automatically a celebrity-audience distance. It follows you around, especially when you're on the road in small towns. Any time there is awe, it gets very difficult to be normal, to be yourself. But I'm not saying that that's what made me the way I am. I've probably always been distant.

The presence of excessive wealth puts an unnatural spin on the appreciation of art.

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.