I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart.

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

Any type of humor can be transferred to the screen, as long as there's clarity. The audience wants to know just what they're supposed to be feeling, when they're supposed to laugh.

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

There's no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.

There are some people that will not pick up a phone and call you, but if you knock on a door and talk to them, they'll talk back to you.

introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness