When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it all in. I didn't know you were supposed to just stand up and tell jokes. Essentially, that's what my act became: those five elements - except I dropped the poetry.

I've run into people in my life who were so dramatic; people who are so extreme and so frustrating to be around that you end up thinking about them and talking about them for literally years after your experience with them is over.

The presence of excessive wealth puts an unnatural spin on the appreciation of art.

At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me, your emotions follow your intent. If you create the intention of starting a comedy act, slowly your mind starts adjusting and you arrive at a new emotional state.

You know, you're really nobody in L.A. unless you live in a house with a really big door.

Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.