The Matisse seemed to respond to the decreasing light by increasing its own wattage. Every object in the room was drained of color, but the Matisse stood firm in the de-escalating illumination, its beauty turning functionality inside out, making itself a more practical and useful presence than anything else in sight.

His view of the world is one that keeps his blood pressure low, sweeping the cholesterol from his relaxed, freeway-sized arteries. Everyone knows he is going to live till age ninety, although the question that goes begging is, “for what?

I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair.

I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

You have to get comfortable [with your work], you really have to know what you're doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.