I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.

I always felt the audience sorta tolerated the serious musical parts while I was doing my comedy.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

My fear represented the failure of the human system. It is a sad truth of our creation: Something is amiss in our design, there are loose ends of our psychology that are simply not wrapped up. My fears were the dirty secrets of evolution. They were not provided for, and I was forced to construct elaborate temples to house them.

I've decided to take up smoking, my doctor said I wasn't getting enough tar.

When I die, now don't think that I'm a nut, don't want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

I think I meant that, given the circumstances of my childhood, I had the illusion that it's easier to be alone. To have your relationships be casual and also to pose as a solitary person, because it was more romantic. You know, I was raised on the idea of the ramblin' man and the loner.