I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.

I always think back to my high school days and realize all the people who were so popular then are nowhere now and all the people who were steadfast and steady-going are somewhere. So high school doesn't necessarily translate to later in life.

When I first started doing my comedy act, I just desperately needed material. So I took literally everything I knew how to do on stage with me, which was juggling, magic and banjo and my little comedy routines. I always felt the audience sorta tolerated the serious musical parts while I was doing my comedy.

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

When you're reaching for a star, there's a long way to fall.

When I die, now don't think that I'm a nut, don't want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

I've decided to take up smoking, my doctor said I wasn't getting enough tar.