I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

I don't really manage my time. I really just wait until I'm inspired to do something. And when I'm inspired to do something, it just happens.

I try not to think about legacy because it is all ­folly. If you study history, even recent history, you'll find many people who were quite significant in their time but are completely forgotten.

I'm tired of wasting letters when punctuation will do, period.

She didn't even finish her last sentence; it just trailed off. I think the subject had changed in her head while her mouth had continued on the old topic, not realizing it was out of supplies.

I'm not a human being. I'm despicable and disgusting - but that's where the money is.