I could never be a woman, 'cause I'd just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

Halle Berry is here, whose win last year broke down barriers for unbelievably hot women.

Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.

I took literally everything I knew how to do on stage with me, which was juggling, magic and banjo and my little comedy routines.

Talent is the ability to say things well, but genius is the ability to, well, say things.

Comedians don`t get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago. And I can`t really speak about the Oscar-worthiness of my own performance.