What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be Democrats... or skinny.

A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.

You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours.

I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.

Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey

It's not tipping I believe in. It's overtipping.