Doing nothing gives me great pleasure. And believe me, I succeed wonderfully in it.

The Smiths was an incredibly personal thing to me. It was like launching your own diary to music.

I've always assumed there's a dark river flowing beneath my fans' desires.

Artists aren't really people. And I'm actually 40 per cent papier mache.

The monarchy is foremost a business, and it's important to them that the British public continue to finance the excessive luxurious lifestyles of the now quite enormous, wasteful and useless 'royal' family.

Doing nothing gives me great pleasure. And believe me, I succeed wonderfully in it.

I always thought my genitals were the result of some crude practical joke.