In my teaching and consulting practice, I encourage people to learn to experiment with confidence and to see themselves as scientists in the laboratory of their lives, continually trying new ways to pursue what matters most to them and to the people who depend on them. Smart, small wins are crucial to this approach, as is devoting time and attention to reflecting on what works and what doesn't.

You really can choose to be the leader you want to be, in all parts of your life, if you take seriously the idea that there's a purpose to your life worth pursuing because it matters not just to you but to others. Consciously and deliberating devoting effort to realizing this idea is ennobling, though never without some struggle.

Executives are afraid of losing control if subordinates try to roam too far. Conversely, hierarchy squelches talent by forcing rote standardization through the punishment of failure, a necessary accompaniment to experimentation.

Firms that fully embrace the needs and interests of the whole person will win today's competition for the best talent.

The thing to keep in mind is that the answer to the question I often get - Are leaders born or made? - is an emphatic yes! All leaders are born, and all are made, through devoted practice of reflecting on experience to learn what's worked and what hasn't, good coaching and accountability pressure to grow, good luck, and, of course, some talent.

Continual improvisation on a theme is a more useful way to think of how to bring the various parts of life together.

No one can have it all, at the same time. I've never seen that.